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Hi Autumn, My experience with slaa is that disclosure comes at a certain point when getting to know someone. Admitting to this kind of addiction is very different from substance addictions.Alcoholics often readily admit they're alcoholics - with great pride even, but it's a different thing for this program. I would not tell a potential partner that I'm in slaa until their trust has been *earned*.Also, in slaa, sex is meant to be delayed deliberately.If a person has the addiction and is rushing into sex, they are not practicing sober dating.After all, addiction tends to arrest people emotionally, and in recovery they often surface at the point from which they left off, feeling, for instance, like a 20-year old trapped in a 35-year old’s body.

Read more about healthy dating for sex addicts in my book "Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex in Recovery from Sex Addiction" and my daily meditation book "Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence" Sex addicts use behaviors rather than substances as coping mechanisms.

Instead of seeing transparency as a punishment or a hindrance, the addict must come to view it as rock-solid security measure again potential relapse, where relapse would eliminate all chances at personal happiness.

The realm of healthy dating may seem strange for other reasons as well.

With a dismal (and dubiously determined) recovery rate, it should be criminal to support dating efforts with people who have not been fully informed of what the sex addict brings to the table in terms of risk.

The author never said potential victims don't deserve full disclosure.

213 comments

  1. Or perhaps, you're dating a sex addict. First things first sex. They talk to the young woman behind the register when you shop. They still send.

  2. Likewise for the woman who always seems to get involved with. Read more about healthy dating for sex addicts in my book "Erotic.

  3. We spoke to Erica Garza about her recovery, and how sex addiction isn't about enjoying sex too much, but being unable to separate pleasure.

  4. Being in a relationship with a sex addict undoubtedly changed me for the better — as a woman and as a partner. Before that relationship, I was.

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