The reflex reaction of the insecure is to quantify oneself, especially physically: to rush to numbers for security, to resort to inches to feel worthy, to run to the scale to feel loveable.
Here are six truths to help still your heart, quiet the lies, and proceed with compassionate caution and wisdom in a relationship with someone who has a sexual history. Whether you measure up to anyone else or not, if you buy into the lie that love should be quantified, you destroy real intimacy.
For now, it only services Toronto in Canada, but plans to roll out in Vancouver this fall. Dragonfruit matches couples based on their particular nerdy obsessions.
A Captain America fan might be connected with someone who’s really into Bucky Barnes, for example.
The gospel reminds us: the Beloved expect you to conform to patterns of her previous sexual partners, they are not ready to date — that is, they are not ready to be trusted with your (or anyone else’s) heart.Talk with some sane, godly (confidential) friends your partner. Humble yourself and recognize that your partner with a sexual past may very well understand grace now far better than you do (Philippians 2:3). To stake our value in being the best at everything in a future spouse’s life is absurd.Jesus says, “Her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little” (Luke ). If dating is moving towards marriage, and you learn of a sexual history, recognize that you were never pursuing this person so that you could be the — for as long as they both shall live.If your partner says, “I don’t think about my ex,” it really could be true.It would be a terrible violence to give someone’s past sins power over them that they didn’t previously have.To marry someone with a past is not “settling,” but can be a great gift. What he meant for evil — to harm or demoralize us — God often means for our good (Genesis ). The promiscuous King Solomon knew firsthand: satisfaction is measured, not in terms of what a person can do in fifteen minutes, but what they can do with fifteen years: “Many a man proclaims his own steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find? By trying to measure up to past sexual partners, we give the past power that it neither has, nor should be thought to have.Search your heart and root out self-righteousness so that you’re not blind to see that God may be giving you marry your partner who has a sexual history, you will not be the best person in their life in every area of life. It is way too easy to become obsessed with a partner’s sexual history.You can also use it to make friendship connections, which allow either sex to initiate. Ladies choose from a selected group of the most compatible guys who’ve already liked their profile.Originally the app only showed one match per day, but after an update last year, that’s increased.Remember this: meaningful sex isn’t primarily about a particular (1 Corinthians 7:4; Ephesians –32) — and only in the God-appointed context of the marriage covenant.The sustaining benefit of sex in marriage is not the orgasm, but the committed intimate relationship.