In fact, I might even like to punch myself in the nose for it. For example, I had a college sweetheart, the girl of my dreams. We totally "clicked." We waited for awhile, then, through my initiation, we started having sex. I stopped wanting to get to know her on any other level.And so it goes without saying that when I get married, I'm not going to like the idea that someone else has had his way with my wife. Do you like the idea of someone else being with your wife? And so, instead of growing closer together, we actually started drifting apart.Here's what I mean: most of the girls I've been with are now married to other men.When I put myself in the shoes of those men, I wish that I hadn't done what I've done. Would I want some guy like me taking advantage of her? They're someone else's future wife, someone else's daughter, sister, etc.The two things were this: 1) I lost respect for the girl (even though I didn't want to); and 2) she began to mistrust me (even though she didn't want to).
And the movie and TV portrayals of couples having sex before marriage never present it either.Something I've discovered is that, when you honor a woman, you are honoring yourself. Because someday you will have regret, and the regret will last much longer than the pleasure.In the movie best interest), you honor yourself and insure that you will have no long-lasting regrets to live with.For me, two things happened once I had sex with a girl.As I look back on it, I can say that they happened literally every time, although I was unaware of these dynamics at the time.It's like no one wants to acknowledge that it's happening, even though it is. Because we'll go into the marriage with me having more respect for her and her having more trust in me.One thing I've learned: if a girl doesn't trust a guy, she doesn't want to give herself wholly to him.And the guy -- who doesn't treasure his wife because of the sex before marriage -- still wants sex but not as a total bonding experience with his wife. And consequently they'll have better and more frequent sex because they respect each other more and love each other more deeply.Sex is a mysterious thing that causes a deep bond between people, even if we call it "casual." The problem is this: the more I bond with other girls, the less I'll be able to bond with my future wife.Instead of realizing that a car can't really satisfy us, we usually make the error of thinking, "Well, I guess that wasn't the one will give me lasting fulfillment.") But the emptiness continued. That is, their perspective on the whole thing is very different from a guy's.So, finally, I came to the conclusion that premarital sex wasn't all it's cracked up to be. Often a girl will justify sex by saying, "But I love him," even if she doesn't really want to go through with it. It's been said that, "Girls use sex to get love; guys use love to get sex." This is how it works: the girl is picturing marrying the guy some day; the guy is picturing everything he wants to do with the girl before he goes back to tell his buddies about it.